i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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