i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
