Buhtt sex?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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