She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
