The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
