I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You ruined the universe
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
