Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
