yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
