watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
