I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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