I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
