Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
