Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
