I skipped work to stalk him.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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