I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
