READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
