She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize