return my video game
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
