i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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