At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
