Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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