so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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