Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She bit a glass in half.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
