he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
