You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
