Don't you send me to vm
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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