Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
