I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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