so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize