I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
