He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
