I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
