just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
