Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
