the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
