Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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