Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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