You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
