Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
