im drinking this country out of the recession.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
