I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
