Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think I just sharted jello shots
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