Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
