is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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