Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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