I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am available for nakedness
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
