he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
