it hurts more in the daytime
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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