Umm I'm too high to move.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
