Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
last night I used snow as a chaser
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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