Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
