i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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