you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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