At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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