help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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