I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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