No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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