my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was born a porn star she said
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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