she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
