She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
