My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
