were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
