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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
